Here we are. Six months in.
At six months of mother hood, I personally, with the hand of God of course and my husband, have sustained my child for a total of 462 days. That’s 285 days of growing this baby in the womb, and 177 days of breastfeeding. I am not asking for a pat on the back… there are billions of mothers who have done this before me, but what I am saying is that it has changed me. It has taught me things. Motherhood has turned my world upside down.
Lily is classified as a “high needs baby”
- Feeds Frequently
- Awakens Frequently
- Can’t Put Baby Down
- Not A Self Soother
- Separation Sensitive
From the moment she entered this world I knew we would have our hands full. She was intense at everything she did from the beginning, and I struggled with that. I was so afraid. I was afraid to put her down. I was afraid to walk away. Is she eating enough? Is she sleeping enough? Is she crying too much?
The great thing is, She is finally becoming a much happier, less fussy baby… but still fusses a lot. We are just learning how to handle her better and understand and meet her needs.
One thing I had realized is that I have forgotten something very important along the way. Let go, and let God.
Mom brain is a real thing. I have a million thoughts at one time. I need to change a diaper, she needs fed, dishes need done, did I remember the laundry, did I feed the dogs? Her toys need cleaned. I need to relax. Did I shower? Did I brush my teeth? I want to relax with my husband. I should eat something… yikes! Post partum depression and anxiety are a real thing. Learning a new life with a baby is a real task. For some it comes naturally, for others it takes some patience and learning.
Watching Lily at this stage is just amazing. Her growth and development is so incredible to watch, it’s just plain cool. Each day is a new day. Along side the joy I have is also an element of sadness. Watching her grow means she is getting bigger. She is growing older. The clothes pile that needs stored away because they don’t fit anymore is slowly growing. The toys are slowly changing to meet her developmental needs. Her feeds are slowly spreading out as she prepares to take on solid foods. By golly she is growing. Her thighs are the cutest little chunks I have ever seen. She is adding new noises that sound like DaDa.
At this point, watching this, and also knowing how we struggled, I know why families have one child. At the same time, I can see why people just keep on making babies. It’s an abrupt change to the cycle of life, but something miraculous at the same time… and I love it. I know that every mother can relate to these feelings at one point in time.
Some days I wake up ready to take on anything thrown at me. Other days I want to sit in a hot tub and just close my eyes and say some calming prayers… because there are days that only praying can get me through and keep me calm.
We have good days. We have bad days. But one thing is for sure. I love this little girl. And I love my husband more than I did before. We are creating a safe little bubble for her to grow in, and I know sometimes our bubble might be shaken. “Schedules” (if there ever is one) will be thrown off. Tantrums will be thrown. Germs will enter. Laughs will be had. At the end of the day, love will always be here.
Mark Twain once said, “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”
I know that I could say this about my mother and one of these days Lily will say this about me. Motherhood is amazing. A true blessing and an incredible life lesson… and a mother is forever learning.
I think every woman has to come into their own as a mother. We have to find what way works for us, because there is no right way or wrong way. All you have to do is love your child even when they punch you, and kick you, and scratch you because they don’t want to sleep. I am told that one day they will sleep… I am thinking by kindergarten Lily will Sleep a good stretch through the night. ☺️
Motherhood is a blessing and an honor. I love watching my child grow and thrive. I love wondering what her hobbies will be – one day. Until then time could slow down a little bit, if only for a moment to freeze all of the cute little baby giggles. And the wet drool kisses. And the little nose grabs. Let’s blur out the blown out diapers, the car seat spray downs, the 100 loads of dirty laundry a week, and the cold meals you quickly rush down. Or maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe those are the funniest memories that one day we can share with our child. And one day when Lily has a Baby of her own- when she calls and tells me her baby won’t sleep or stop crying, I can giggle and say “okay honey, I’m going to sleep now, call me in the morning, good luck!”
No, I really would try to offer my advice to her… I think.
But really, cheers to motherhood.
It’s an honor.
It’s life changing.
It’s a dirty job.
💜But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.💜