I Love You Differently Now

My husband and I met in the sixth grade

He still tells me that he remembers what my hair looked like that day, I am unsure if he is making up what I looked like or if it is accurate because at this point my memory is lacking. We had been friends for years and dated a few times when we were younger and then finally got together for good in 2010. We have seen each other at our highest highs and lowest lows, being that we are now 27 years old and have known each other for 16 years.

I can surely tell you we are not the two people that we used to be. The friends we once had, the parties we once attended at all hours of the night, the places we would visit, they are no longer the same. Since being together for 7 years now, we have moved a grand total of 8 times, and are on our 9th move at the end of this month. We have seen a lot of places, a lot of furniture has come and gone and a few fur babies along the way.

I know that for me, each new front door that we enter, I have always tried to make a “home” for my husband.I have always wanted to make him feel like he had a place to come home to, even if we were dirt broke and lived off of MRE meals for a few days or had Tupperware bins as couches. A lot has changed since moving across the country on our own adventure and we have changed even more since then.

I tend to think that now as we are on the approaching end of our 30’s that we have become well seasoned. Without a doubt, my husband has always been my solid foundation. We both share a love of Jesus, inappropriate jokes, giving to others, watching movies and eating lots and lots of Mexican food – even though now I believe we are more in the realm of Tex-Mex cuisine. He has always been the go-getter that I never really was. I require about 10 hours of sleep; where he requires about 5. He enjoys drinking alcohol; I enjoy drinking water and iced tea. I enjoy cooking; he enjoys eating cold ravioli from a can and ramen noodles. He enjoys working out every.single.day…… I am still trying to lose 15 pounds from pregnancy while wanting to eat every single thing in sight while breastfeeding a child.

We have certainly changed a lot, and have many differences, but I would like to think that is part of the beauty of our relationship. My husband is known for posting the inappropriate photos and memes and jokes, and people always ask him

How does your wife put up with you?!

The truth is, I love his jokes and horrific memes and the noise he makes when he slurps those ramen noodles. I would not change that one bit.

Oh, and I go shopping when he drives me nuts too.

At this point in our lives I thought there was no way I could possibly love this man anymore than I already do. He always treats me royally – but lets be honest he has his asshole moments where I would like to make him sleep outside. Overall, he is the answer to all of my prayers (yes ladies, I got a freckle-less ginger that you all dream about.. with a large rump).

And then came January 20, 2017. That day, He was my biggest supporter. I was in the most pain I had ever imagined, and he stood by me every second. I could truly see the tears in his eyes as he watched me in pain. I could see him struggle and probably wish deep down I would take anything to take away my pain. But he did as I asked, and continued to tell me that I could bring our daughter into the world as billions of champion mothers have done before me. And then I saw his face when he saw his daughter for the first time. In that moment I loved him more than I ever thought possible. I was thanking God for this man, as I knew he was going to be the best father for my daughter.

Of course, there are days when we may differ on things, but I have to give him grace. Men and women have a different way of nurturing, and that is okay. Over all though, I could not have survived this journey with out him. In my recovery, he literally changed MY diapers. Helped me on and off the toilet and into the shower. THE lowest points of my life. He is a better man for this and of course we have even better things to laugh about now.

So to you my dearest husband, I do not love you like I once did. I see you in a totally new light as a father, and my love for you has grown exponentially. Thank you for all that you have done for me, but more importantly thank you for all that you have done for our daughter. I cannot wait to watch you two grow together. Here is to you this fathers day, you deserve this title. You have earned it.

Happy Fathers Day my love. You are this little girls entire world.


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